Me: Alright so, what motivated you to join the military first off?

Tom Dalbeck: A couple of different things, ah, I need to get the hell out of the town I was living in. I was young and I just had a baby and things weren't looking good where I was.

Me:Yeah.

Tom Dalbeck: I was in a bad spot and needed like how can I go to school, how can I do stuff. And the military was.

Me: A good escape route?

TD: No, but it was always a plan

Me: it was a plan.

TD: Ummm I liked the military as a kid, I liked the top gun, the cool military movies, I thought that would be cool. And you know like my grandpa, my moms dad was in WWII, he was in the navy my grandpa was in the navy. I think my dads brother was in the army, you know what I mean. There’s also a thing about it being bigger than yourself. You know like I could serve and I could do something cool. That's what motivated it, but really what kicked it off was I gotta get out of here, how can I get out of here? The GI bill with benefits and pay for school and all that.

Me: when did you serve and what branch did you serve?

TD: United States Marine Corps, the best branch there is.

Me: Nice.

TD: 97-2001 I actually got out on terminal leave - I had some leave built up, which means I didn't have to go to the end of my contract in November. Means I had 3 months of leave so I got out early, I am on leave for 3 months but I don't have to come back after. But I went on terminal leave 5 days after 911.

Me: what is terminal leave?

TD: Like I said I had leave built up, so my actual contract ended on Nov 12th, but because I had 3 months built up I could get out early. 5 days after 911 happened. That was a hard 5 days. Your mom was in Kentucky, she had been there for a good month, month and a half, she had to start school, she was going to finish school. So I was all living by myself, actually I was just sleeping in the office and stuff like that. and we were out one morning, we were doing PT - physical training.
And where we do our sit ups and our pull ups close to the gym and then the 3 mile track that we ran on was like a couple blocks away. So a lot of people go into their cars to drive down there. Most of us walked, but we heard stuff because they had radios on their cars. And they said “missiles just hit the pentagon” like holy crap, so we all headed back to the office cause we had a little TV, and we got back just in time to watch the second plane fly into the tower. And there was stuff, they said, recall everybody and get them on base, you can't call , there are no personal calls out, there's no nothing. Get everybody here, we dont dont know what's going on. You should talk to your mom about that - her teacher at the time was the FBIs explosion investigator guy. It was kinda neat.
It was scary, for 5 days I had a loaded weapon, and I was guarding a gate and I had other guys under me. With orders to shoot to kill people. It was a very interesting 5 days. They almost didn't let me out. But they started opening things back up. I was actually on the second flight out of Los Angeles international airport to fly to Kuntucky to see your mom. On the second flight out after they reopened the skies..All the skies in the entire nation shut down. And it was cool. I wore my uniform and stuff so everyone on the plane was like cool. There was a Marine on here.

Me: where did you serve?

TD: Mostly in San Diego. Born and raised in Southern California, I went to boot camp in Southern california, then they sent me to Biloxi Mississippi for a little while for my school, and then I got stationed, and I graduated top of my class so I got to choose where I could go. And because I was married to Emily's mom, at that time, I came out to Southern California so I got stationed at Miramar. And I was there the whole time.
I put in to go other places but it just wasn't in the cards. I met your mom when I was down there.

Me: what jobs and responsibilities did you have?

TD: So, I was a meteorologist for the Marine Corps, A weather guy. I looked at clouds and we did all the weather for the entire base. We were an air base. It was Marine Corps air station Miramar. Which by the way, it used to be a navy base, that's where they filmed the first top gun, when he buzzed the tower. I worked under that towner. Yeah It was cool.
So we kicked them out in 97, we kicked the navy out and took it over. I Was a meteorologist and we had to update the base commander, all the pilots, all that stuff, we did weather, we forecast weather, all that stuff. Nothing flew without weather. The generals would base their stuff around weather, kinda cool, it was a really important job, it was neat, this was back in 97/98 so we were updating websites which was new. I learned computers when I was there, I learned how to do all kinds of stuff, computers and web stuff. Yeah had to do radars, had to put up weather balloons. I had to do all kinds of good stuff. Deal with the pilots. Yeah it was cool

Me: what rank were you?

TD: I was a corporal, an E4. so it was right before sergeant. But that's one of the first leadership ranks in the Marine Corps, they are called NCOs Non Commissioned Officers.. So like Corporals and Sergeants, are your first ranks actually have people under you and for most of the time I was there I was a watch leader. We had watches, so I was basically like a squad leader.
There was like a sargest or a staff sergeant, or somebody higher who was like the watch commander who would watch over us, but then it was me. And then all the minions. I have always been in like a leadership role. I also did teach people how to shoot in the marine corps, I was a marksmanship instructor. So it was like a secondary job,

Me: weren't you really good at it too.

TD: Yup. I learned the marine corps way and I was a 4 time expert with my rifle and 3 time expert with my pistol because I only qualified 3 times with my pistol.

Me: were there any specific individuals or moments that influenced you during your service.

TD: Yeah there were a lot of individuals, there was a lot of good leadership and a lot of good people that I met along the way. I'm still friends with a lot of them on FB and stuff like that. ANd around Nov 10th, which is the Marine Corps Birthday on FB, we all talk a lot and post pictures and remember stuff. Remember the people that wwe lost. I learned about leadership and how to treat people. And that leadership is by example and that its ahhh its more of service to the people that you're leading.

Me: do you have any like positive memories, that are you favorite stories to tell.

TD: I have so many positive memories.

Me: do you have like a favorite story?

TD: None that are appropriate to share with highschool kids.
[Laugh]
It was a crazy time, there was crazy things happening. I learned to drink in the marine corps, we partied a lot. There's a lot of crazy things that happen when you get a lot of 18 year old guys together to do stuff. We had, so we worked in the air operations building, so were there 24/7 so at night we were charged with cleaning the halls. Waxing and polishing the halls. So those big floor buffers, we had floor buffer races. We have guys spinning around on them till they throw up. Its just,in the barracks, it was a free for all. Its nothing i feel like sharing with the public at the moment.

Me: thats OK

TD: Oh no theres a lot of good ones. Because we're in SD, there's a lot of sports teams, like the SD chargers, the football team, the padres, the baseball team. And they would do the opening day ceremonies for that and we would bring out these big flag that was like the size of the entire field. 100’s of marines grabbing it. That was cool. I as on TV a bunch of times for that. I was in a bunch of those. We were in a lot of parades and ceremonies and stuff like that, it was kinda cool.
We were on TV a lot, I was an extra in a TV show, I don't even remember what it was NCIS or something like that. I as an extra Marien, we were like swimming in a pool or something like that. Just stuff like that. There is a lot of memories.

Me: Was there any challenges you experienced?

TD: It was the most challenging thing I have ever done. Even to this day. It wa hard, i was young. Emily was not even a year old when I left, I missed her first birthday by a week. I had to be away from home, it was hard on a marriage. First one didn't make it. Then I met your mom.
Physically, mentally, emotionally, because they take you, you go to boot camp, they break you down and reform you into the image of a United States Marine and its not an easy thing to do and you do things that you never thought you would do. Physically, emotionally, all that stuff.
In the Marine Corps, it was brand new, I think we were the second company that went through what they call the crucible. Like a 72 hour thing, you barely eat, you march all day, you play war, you do these obstacles and all this stuff it's meant to simulate war and be really hard. You carried 50 60 70 lbs of gear, I think they let you sleep 2 hours a night, but nobody slept. You had like 1 MRE to eat the whole time, just no sleep and you have to figure it out. It culminated up this really awful hike up this mountain Mt Mother Fucker, people are just falling out and dieing its uhhhh but you learn to rely on the marine next to you and team work. Stuff like that. And everything along the way, boot camp was tested all the time. You had to swim, you had to run, you had to take tests on military history and marine corps history, and if you failed they recycled you or they kicked you out. We started with 130 guys, graduated 70 something. It was tough.
The job once I got out, when I was doing my day to day job, was super hard. You deal with the normal BS. its like a work day, but its worse because the government owns you. There will be times where they will say “oh we are going to have an inspection so bring all your uniform stuff. It just yea - but no it wasn't hard. You had to maintain standards. All The time. Always being pushed and tested. Physically, within your job, all that stuff. It was cool.
But being away from your family was hard. Or even there were times if somebody got in trouble on my watch and my cause in the marine corps you're in charge of your guys and if your guys get in trouble then you're getting in trouble too. THere were many times I should have been at home but I'm standing tall in front of the man getting in trouble, getting locked down on base. Because one of my guys got busted. Being away from your family not having that kind of control because the government owns you. So you can't just be like “I'm not coming into work today” you do that and you're going to jail. Anyways that was hard.

Me: thats what the next question is, what sacrifices did you or your family make during this time.

TD: The family, it was cool cause I was single for a while, but it was hard on the family. Because its time. I didn't get shipped anywhere. I didn't go anywhere like my brother. My brother has been all over, and he's been gone a lot. You're still gone a lot. And you can have something planned and its your day off, and they are like Nah you need to come in. we need you to come in for some stupid reason and you have to drop everything. So that's hard. They money is not great either, so. Yeah.

Me: so what do you want Americans, especially young people that you want to understand about the military.

TD: That it's necessary , that's what protects our way of life. Ummm, a lot of people view it kinda like I did that you can go in and get all these benefits like you get all these things it's more than that. It's way more than that. You're serving your country, you are a protection against bad guys for everybody in your country. You know what I mean it's way bigger than yourself. You know I think it's kinda notable. You're sacrificing your time, maybe even your life, to protect what you believe in and what this country stands for, I think we are losing some of that today. I Think there are a lot of people who want to find reasons to hate this country, even those who reap all the benefits of living in this country. Freedoms that we have. They forget that that freedom was not free, there's been a man or a woman who's died for all the freedoms that we have. From the revolutionary war you know what I mean, people die. It was one of my drill instructors early on - we would play taps every night. The trumpet - do-do dooo- they would play taps every night, I remember his voice, he had this really deep voice low voice, and he said everytime you hear this you remember everyone who died in the service of this country
(pause)
who paid for the freedoms that you enjoy today
(pause)
and what I want to pass on to the younger kids is that we need to still continue to fight for those freedoms and we need to fight for them everyday. Every generation or we are going to lose it. It's not free. Somebody has to pay it.

Me: is there anything that i haven't covered that you would like to share?

TD: I don't know like what. It's something that I'm still very proud of. It's weird when people say "oh you're a marine and you're a veteran, and like thank you for your service, i never know what to say to that i didn't do it to be thanked. I did it because, you know what I mean, because I wanted too. Because I chose too, I was ready and prepared. I signed on the dotted line, I would have died for my country if they asked me too. it's just kinda weird when something thanks you for your service. I understand that they are trying to be cool but its always been weird, I don't know what to say or what to do. But yeah. It's weird but every veterans day I remember, you know there's people that I've lost that I miss, that I remember the people I served with are amazing. In all lots of life. From everywhere. Colors, genders, everything, it didn't matter we were all marines. And that kind of bond, I still talk to many of the people I served with. Totally worth it.

Me: yesterday Mama said to me that it's important to recognize the veterans that didn't go to combat and like we forget that sometimes they have a really important part. You weren't in combat or anything but you were a very important part. cause they couldn't do anything without your approval

TD: Its been weird uhhhhhh going through the VA system, right, cause is til had some issues, there guys that even though they didn't go to war they have physical issues, mental issues like even just boot camp a lot is traumatic your being yelled at screamed at, abused - ya know? I think it's very traumatic. A lot of guys snap. So you try to get help. What I found I don't know I kinda called it a second class veteran. Because I didn't go to war, i didn't have a leg blown off. I don't have PTSD because I saw my buddies getting shot. You know what I mean. I was treated differently, and I still am treated differently. Like in that VA system. And some people will be like, what happened? I know a lot of people will also think veterans will mean that you went to war. Like you're not a veteran if you didn't go to war No you're a veteran if you served your country. Just cause I didn't go to war doesn't mean I didn't. So there is a stigma but you are treated a little differently. Even among the same service guys. They will be life “well I was in afghanistan and iraq and you just stayed in SD you didn't have it as bad as I did.” so there is a little bit of that.
Anything else you want to know?

Me: it's interesting to hear you talka bou thetis. I haven't really heard you talk about this.

TD: It's one of the proudest moments of my life when I graduated. I earned it. In the marines corps you Earn it. Like i was saying, that crucible that whole big test. In SD it ends your hiking Mt mother fucker and you get to the top and then I just remeber, cause its in SD and its by the ocean, I just remeber and then this pathway just lined with flags, out towards the ocean. And they were playing a song - “I'm proud to be an American” right? And we are all just lining up as people were trickling in the top of the mountain. I went back down and I pulled one of my guys up, just helped him up the mountain, even though I'm barely making it up the mountain. It's like we are right there! We get to the top and there were flags. And the wind was blowing, its was early in the morning like 6 in the morning. Because it was dark when we started. And the ocean, and they were playing that song. And we all get up and we are standing and we are all lined up by platoon, and drill instructors we get handed, they come by each and every one and shock our hands and said well done marine and gave us our first eagle globe and anchor that was officially the day we became marines.
Even though we haven't graduated yet. We waited another week, we were marines that day. We earned it. And I still have my eagle glob and anchor that they put in my hand. I'm a marine. Dude were crying. We were filthy, everyone crying, our faces, so our faces getting cleaned down there. Its was a day. So emotional. And I remember when I was in boot camp I just kept thinking about my kid at the time, I just kept thinking I can't fail. Cause i'm not a runner, I'm not a - I couldn't do half the shit I thought I could do. I did it. And I thought about Emily every day. And she kept me going. I'm like I'm not going to fail. I just stick it out. You know stuff with in yourself. You know? It's one of the proudest days of my life. It was very cool.
It was hard leaving, it was scary, like 2 weeks in I was like “man what the hell” it was horrible. The first month of boot camp, for marines its like 3 months long. Army is 6 weeks. The navy is like 8 weeks.

Me: dont they do water stuff?

TD: Marines do water stuff too. You know it's a department of the navy.

Me: ya it originated with the navy they lined up side and shot people

TD:They were up in the towers - sharpshooters for the navy. So there is a lot of navy traditions So in the marine corps you have to learn a whole nother language right? Like not walls there bulkheads, its not windows it portal. Port starboard fore and aft, you know. You swab the deck, you don't mop the floor. Like there's a lot of naval speak in the marine corps. Its cool.

Me: did you learn morse code?

TD: No, that wasn't my job. I learned it as a radio operator since. I learned computers, i learned how to look at clouds, I learned how to tell height of clouds, patterns. Read radars and maps and all kinds of neat stuff. And it wasn't as cool as it is today. There's so much cool stuff today. Sometimes we were licking our fingers and putting it in the wind.
And we had the weather rock. If the rock was wet it was raining. If the rock was hot it was hot. If the rock was swaying, cause its hanging from a string, it was windy. You had to learn all kinds of stuff a lot of technical things. And then a lot of computer things, it's really neat. I enjoyed it. I graduated that the top of my class. From weather school.

Me: so you had to take a course

TD: Yeah it was in Biloxi Mississippi it was on an Air Force base. Called Keesler air force base and for the first little while it was , how long was my school? 6 months? Something like that, but then you learn about weather and the science behind weather. Then we broke off into like - so my first classes were a bunch of AF dudes. And some navy people. Because the air force did the weather for the army. The army didn't have weather dudes. But there was of navy and marines and we are all combined in this class and then we are learning the science and the weather. Stuff like that. Then we broke off and it's just marines. Here's how we do it. Here's how we do weather and then we learn. Then you go get stationed, whenever you do get stationed, we have to get FAA certified. Federal aviation administration. So just like air traffic controllers and stuff we still have to get certified by the government, even though we are government employees we still had to take tests. And get certified in weather for the government. I graduated in the top of my class. I got to choose wherever I wanted to go. I should have gone, I wanted to go to Japan., but I really wanted to go to Japan, but if I did it would have been. For a year. And I couldn't not have taken my family. So I didnt. I should have gone anyway. She left me a couple of months later.
A lot of divorce in the military. They said. If the military wanted you to have a wife they would have issued one.
(laugh)
Its very hard. From deployment, from being gone, from , it's a meat market, like your afraid to leave your wife around because every other dude, a marine, is sniffing around too and they don't care if you're married.
That's part of the reason I got out, married your mom, we spent a year, and i don't want to live like that. It's too hard on marriage. Its part of the reason I got out, if I wouldn't have met your mom I would have stayed in for a lot longer. But yeah. We didn't have you for a long time.

(we continued talking for a while, i then thanked him for his service gave him a hug and when home)